I'm posting this now. I'm about to graduate from Yoga Teacher Training and reading this was a very nice reflection.
I'm in my 6 weekend of YTT Training. March has been a month of transitions and I feel my entry into my training weekend isn't one of preparedness. Didn't do a daily meditation, did my readings, did SOME of my writing assignment and did more Barre strength training than yoga. My cup overflow (explained below). Such is life, where my mind and body are bouncing between Winter and Spring just as the earth is. "Start something new! Get moving! Get going!" my brain says while my body wants to curl up hibernating in bed, grounded.
What's new with Swa? Well, I need to finish my taxes, make some phone calls to set up classes, set up a plan for a free yoga class I'll be teaching, make bread, make jewelry, make phone calls, continue my Barre challenge all while maintaining my already established morning routine and yoga practice. This, my friends, is where these transitions show the push and pull of blooming like a flower in spring and hibernating like the bear I am.
What have I figured out? That I have a certain size cup that when full - whatever is left over falls into the "mannnn, I should have done that" category. Then some guilt can set in, right? Anyone with me? I chose to do my morning stretches, coffee and Barre - which took about an hour - then - nothing else (in terms of movement and ritual). I think my cup is an hour full. Anything over an hour happens somewhere else like a yoga studio or at work - accountability is my friend and enemy. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.... Either way, I need to gift myself a bigger cup.
We fill our days with so much! I'm thankful that I have time to myself to relax but I still want to FILL ALL MY TIME! If I don't, I felt unproductive. Past tense, felt, but it's not completely in the past. Things never really are.
I see this transition much more clearly as I learn about Ayurveda, practicing yoga while creating art, jewelry and teaching. This month was my transition time, a time to witness and see where changes are needed and what is ok to remain. Guilt is something that I felt (not completely past tense again) about not living up to this productive focused, must do all the things and frantic world. I'm living me, right now, surrounded by people that love me and who I love and making choices moment to moment that make me feel good.
Keep smiling everyone! Be a witness to all of your things and feelings - participate in the things that make you feel good. This will be your gift to the world and for those around you.
I'm off to create some jewelry, do some taxes and enter my yoga teacher training weekend with acceptance, compassion and excitement.